Helping is not always helpful!

I read a story a while ago. Unfortunately the source is unknown but the truths resonate so deeply.

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole. Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further. So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon. The butterfly emerged easily but it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch it, expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge and expand enough to support the body, Neither happened! In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around. It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand: The restricting cocoon and the struggle required by the butterfly to get through the opening was a way of forcing the fluid from the body into the wings so that it would be ready for flight once that was achieved.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us. We will not be as strong as we could have been and we would never fly.

Many like the man in this story do struggle with own exaggerated importance and overall value in other people's journey. We often overestimate our abilities to help others solve their problems. People don't always want us to resolve their issues for them even when they say or believe they do. Human emotions are that complex and complicated. When we come to this realisation, we wouldn't always get triggered to become a messiah and we will also be less disappointed when our offer to help is not acknowledged, appreciated or even outrightly rejected.

Pain is not an enemy. Pain signals either death or life. A child is brought forth in the middle of pain and a hailing body can also be an indication of dying cells. The pain isn't the problem. The pain is only the messenger informing us that something extraordinary is happening.

Our goal should be to welcome the pain, decipher the message it is passing across and learn the lesson it is trying to teach us. This is how to make the pain not become suffering.

So when someone we know has a struggle, we must trust God, the author of all our stories to guide and cause the entire universe to align for them according to that individual's tailored grand design. I am not saying we should not offer to help. I'm only saying our help should never become their ticket to skip the lesson life is trying to teach them. Rather, it should be a gentle reminder that they are not alone. Do all that is within your power for them but don't play God in their lives.

Let me add, in the grand scheme, things don't always get permanently solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. Liberation and healing comes from growing into this understanding and letting there be room for all of these to happen, room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.

We must allow people gather enough tools for their life's toolbox to navigate these unending ups and downs.