Lessons from a trip!

I wrote this a while ago after a tiring day of back breaking work in Port Harcourt. I was prospecting a client and I had labored so much on their project, hoping to win the brief. As startups, the amount of free work we do just to be noticed or to have a foot in the door is unbelievable. After all the wahala , the client didn't sign us and the job I had spent a whole lot of energy and brain power on didn't get past design stage because of funding and lack of Management's commitment.

During the course of the same day, an old acquaintance reached out to me for help and I sent him five thousand naira. He replied with a half-baked thank you and said the money was small considering my status.

Later in the evening I got into the rusty hotel I could afford at Borokiri and Facebook asked, "what's on your mind?" This was my answer then. It's still true today.

1. GET OVER IT!

No one owes you anything but love. That entitlement feeling is only fueling your frustrations. No one and I mean no one is obligated to help you. If you are past age 18, not even your parents owe you a meal. Anyone that lends you a hand is doing you a big favour, please celebrate that person. If you get anyone to give you more than a hand then you are truly blessed.

2. STOP WHINING about the things you didn’t get done yesterday or the opportunities that you missed.

As long as you are alive you can still make something of what is left. It is not your job to beat yourself over the head. Trust me, the world is full of people who will do that to you. No matter how hard you try, you will still have people that will say stuff that are unkind and this is enough to let you know that naysayers are naysayers. It has nothing to do with what you did or didn’t as they already have their jobs cut out for them.

3. NOTHING IN LIFE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS.

You are either happy by yourself or never going to know true happiness. Until you look at yourself in the mirror and celebrate yourself, go to the mall and indulge in things that make you giggle like a toddler, no one will invest in the things that make you happy. Some self-love is crucial for wholesome living. It's a burden and an unfair one to expect people to make you happy when you can't do it for yourself.

4. LIFE IS A GIFT.

Wake up every day and be thankful for the breath in your nostrils. Nicer, kinder, richer and more connected people have since died. While you are alive, do something really meaningful, something that positively impacts your own corner of the world.

5. THAT JOB THAT DOES NOT ALLOW YOU MAKE TIME FOR YOUR FAMILY IS NO LONGER A BLESSING.

When the chips are down and everything is over, no one really remembers that report or Powerpoint presentation. All you have in the real sense of having something valuable is family. By family I mean everyone who love and care about you, not just those you're related to by blood. Appreciate them! An investment banker friend of mine who worked for one of the biggest banks in the world shared a story about how one of the big guys who belonged to the C-Suite of his bank died on the job on a particular Saturday and by Monday his “friends” at work were already clamoring for his chair. Make all the money in the world and buy the most expensive pillow. When you squeeze it at night it won’t squeeze you back.

6. TAKE A CHANCE!

If you fail, you have only learned how not to do it. Pick yourself up and try again. Do many things and one will work. Don’t settle for good when you can be great. It’s a better feeling when you fail because you tried than to regret not acting on your inner convictions and calling. I know folks who have played it safe all their lives and today are comfortable but also miserable. Follow your heart!

7. BE KIND!

Every man is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Your acts of kindness starts with a smile. Hold the door for the next person. When life elevates you, make your shoulder available for someone else to climb on. Putting out someone else’s candle doesn't make yours shine brighter. What goes around comes around; either you or your children will definitely reap the harvest.