On Self-love

When I say ‘I love you’ to myself, I strive for it not to just be in words but in thoughts and actions.

My deepest desire is to be extremely self-aware, to know myself, be fulfilled in myself, patient with myself, gracious towards myself, kind towards myself and be sincerely happy for myself as constantly as I can.

I've curated some of my deepest thoughts and the values that have shaped my life and decisions and will be sharing them below.

• You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. Live in the moment. Breathe. Acknowledge your existence and present state as a gift.

• You cannot want something for someone more than they want it for themselves. If you attempt to love someone more than they love themselves, everything you do will be misconstrued and because they judge themselves harshly already, they won't spare a thought before judging even your good intentions. You cannot free people who love their chains. May you always remember this.

• When you speak your truth and folks try to retaliate by defaming or attacking you, don't stop. They will never say the words you spoke weren’t the truth. Their tactic is to paint you as a person deserving of their bad behavior. When they can no longer control you, they try to control how others see you. Ignore them.

• Heal and move on. You have things to do. You cannot sit in that dark place forever. Invest in your mental health.

• When an adult is badly behaved, make sure they're not comfortable disrespecting you. That they did what they did isn't the only problem. That they got comfortable doing it to you over and over is something you need to accept responsibility for. Don't be an enabler of toxic behaviour.

• Sometimes, we internalize what we shouldn’t, fall in love with the wrong person or don’t give ourselves to purpose. Whatever the situation is, be real to yourself. That way, if you're in error and it becomes obvious to you, you won't have much regrets. Whatever you do, ensure your heart is in the right place even if your head isn’t.

• People that can't love themselves can't love anyone else. Quit thinking the problem is with you. People can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves. Let them go.

• You have the right to fail. Don't just look at and embrace your lights but also your shadows.

• Truth may be vital but without love it becomes unbearable. Make sure that those speaking truth to you also have love in their hearts for you. If there must tears, let them be those of joy.

• We outgrow things, relationships and even commitments. It's not a bad thing. It's OK to change your mind. Very few people can acknowledge their growth for fear of being perceived a looser or quitter. To be able to say good bye to the things and people that no longer serve your purpose is a sign of strength.

• When we're full or there isn't anymore appealing stuff being served, we must learn to leave the table. We must honor our being and stay true to our core.

• Anyone who is happy with you being someone else isn't worth your attention. This is another golden rule. Everyone who doesn't respect your choice to be you, who doesn't support your growth and isn't patient with your evolving self should never be given attention. Stop prioritising those who don't value you.