Two nights ago I watched the limited Netflix series, Unorthodox. It is a TV adaptation of Deborah Feldman's 2012 autobiography Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots.
Esty the lead character is a 19 year old Jewish woman who knew she was different but without any reference point as to why, had to accept her perceived fate to marry a man she doesn't want and raise a family. The marriage was arranged and she was sorely unhappy among the ultra-Orthodox community in New York where she lived. A year into the marriage, she runs away to Berlin, where her estranged mother lives and tries to navigate a new life. Esty discovering a secular life outside her community gives her so much culture shock while at the same time she experiences such inner peace and freedom because she rejected all the beliefs she grew up with.
One of her newly found friends in Berlin asked her why she left New York and Esty replied, "God expected too much of me. Now I need to find my own path".
This point hit me so much I paused to reflect on how much we have been sold different images of God. Esty with such an incredible voice was not allowed to sing because it is against the culture and religion she was born into. Now in Berlin, she made friends at a music conservatory and for the first time she watched students rehearse. This is the closest to a musical concert she has ever been. She was awestruck. Later that day, she followed her friends to the beach, removes her sheitel as she bathes in the water, revealing her shorn hair. This is something Orthodox Jewish married women in order to conform with the requirement of Jewish law to cover their hair must always have on. She also auditioned to be accepted to study music at the conservatory, breaking the taboo that singing in public by a woman is immoral.
Many like Esty are like fishes trying to fly. Culture and religion have them locked up in spaces that are limiting and retrogressive. They've been told God has a long list of expectations and meeting those are prerequisites to experiencing his love and acceptance.
God's love is not a reward for change or good behaviour. His love is his tool by which he changes us. The vast majority have been taught wrongly about God's love. We've been told God loves us but... And that he will always love us if...
Well, those are not true. God loves us, period. No conditions, no pretexts. It has nothing to do with what we do or do not do. God doesn't love us only when we do good or repent. In fact, he pours his love much more towards us when we're out of sync with him. It is the Father's love that leads us to repentance. We can never earn it.
Free yourself from any performance mentality. You're already accepted, just the way you are. Receive that love and begin to change from within as a result. Find peace in this truth. God knows your weaknesses and he calls you special still. Chase your dream. Live your life to the full. Find your purpose and fulfil it. Go to where your gift is celebrated. You have reason and rarity. It is OK to break rules that put a lid on your potentials. Indeed, make June a very special month to dare great things and take on giants.
With all my love,
Nathaniel
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What a good read!
Society wires us or to think that if we act likably we will be liked, and somehow, we unconsciously project that on to God.
Hebrew 4:16 gets me every time - it is an absolutely mind blowing invitation to come unashamed, unafraid and freely, to share any and everything with Him.
NO PERFECTION REQUIRED!
We don’t need to be formal and prim and proper - we only just need to come as we are. Confident that He will NEVER reject us or make us feel like we don’t quite fit in. When we come like this, then we can access GRACE (getting the things we don’t deserve) and MERCY (not getting the things we deserve) in our time of weakness.
How good is that?! Who else can make and deliver a promise like this?